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A Poem In Attempted Chinese

Written for the amusement of the Dormitory Boys :)

我的词简单, 但他们是恳切的

What I hope I just said, but in English:
My words are simple, but they are sincere
I hope they bring you smiles and good cheer
If my poem fails to inspire joy or hope
At least you can use it to roll your dope.


Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

I'm afraid I had to make do with whatever I could glean from online translation sites, so I guess I'm lucky if it is even remotely similar.
Thank you for the info, though! Languages fascinate me, and learning more about them is always exciting to me.

4:20 PM  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

if you were to write in classical Chinese (rather than this newfangled vernacular), your words would be even [much] more simple (which is not to say more sincere); and it would need far fewer of them!
That said---congrats!

but in classical chinese, it might
be as terse as this [my memory of vocabulary's very far & distant, so some syllables may be off; but nonetheless it really can be said with just 5 characters per line!]--

wo yan yi ke zhen
xi gei kai er lo
ru shi bu ni xi
hai ke yong fei mo

[maybe 50% of words aren't given rightly [it's been decades... & sorry not taking time to look up];
but you DO have good sense of the
underlying "form" of such a verse,
quite correct in its balance.
It's this horribly verbose Mandarin that could be shown the door imho [just a note from the peanut gallery, that]. The classical language suits poetic expression in such a fine manner: worth investigating!

cheers, d.i.

[dropping in via Silliman; pardon not perused enough to have context as yet abt. your Chinese... ergo venturing comment impromptu, such as it is]

4:21 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

twistednoggin - I am indeed inspired with joy and hope.

Thank you!

11:26 PM  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

well that's something, working from online dictionaries... (I'd presumed you'd studied the lang).
btw your self-photo intrigues with its calculation (that is, the calculation [to intrigue] itself intrigues, as does alike the intrigue (achieved per se) -- or something like that)

cheers, d.i.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

For your next feat, will you attempt a poem in binary Chinese?'

: )

8:56 PM  

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